Deck of cards with 7 aces was used.
"Shooting ducks! Shooting ducks! Blow them to mincemeat!" Good song
Handyman Corner: Things to do with a Garage Door Opener
Hook it up to a stove. If you're watching the game, start the opener so you can check in on it from afar.
Garage door opener may not shut off.
Make your own elevator by using the garage door opener, a pulley, and an animal cage. May need to bolt down garage door opener.
Christmas lights will stay up from mid December to late July.
Firecrackers were put a stove, didn't scare old man Sedgewick.
Woo Ranger Gord is back and he has Green Giant CORN.
He can see the forest through the trees.
He's also learned to play the guitar, can play Staying Alive.
He's been looking at a woman at a cabin through binoculars, woman is actually a log.
Red suggests watching TV as a hobby.
Red talks about a man who made catfish statues out of wood.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Surviving in the Forest by Fishing
Bill pokes himself in the eye with a stick. Is now spearfishing. Stabs himself in the leg.
Using string from pants to make string for a fishing line. Pulls a worm out of Red's ear.
Bill catches something, just a tire. They eat the tire.
Harold says there is not too much sex in music videos because there is no such thing as too much sex.
Stinky Peterson got hit with itching powder.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Episode #4: The Treasure Hunt
Found a locked chest in the attic, hit it with sledgehammers, broke the glass inside. Also, found a map.
Handyman Corner: Toilets are assets.
Hits toilet with sledgehammer, breaks off the tank.
It is now a portable, ceramic beverage cooler.
Plants do not eat burnt hot dogs.
Treasure map pointed out place 500 miles away from the sea.
Hap Shaughnessy was a rubber farmer in his 20s. 240 rubber trees.
Farm was attached to a tire factory. Didn't work out.
People in the Yukon feel like there are too many stereotypes about them.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Snowshoeing
Bill is struggling to get going. Cannot turn around very well.
To turn around, grab a tree branch and swing. Or, pivot on a walking stick.
Now making their own snowshoes from tires. Ends with Bill rolling down hill at blinding speed.
Red talks about guns. They don't really go hunting. They talk about guns but don't use them.
Rollerderby is a daily event to Harold, I guess.
The answer to most philosophical questions: Aliens. Duh.
Oh no, Red is a Superman fan. Harold counters with Batman and is right. Neither has a "Hover" ability, though.
Dougy Franklin and his monster truck, Meals on 4 Wheels.
Apparently there are Monster trucks coming to an event from Pakistan. The best of the best, I'm sure.
They dug for the treasure, got mad they couldn't find anything, just started hitting trees and stuff.
Handyman Corner: Toilets are assets.
Hits toilet with sledgehammer, breaks off the tank.
It is now a portable, ceramic beverage cooler.
Plants do not eat burnt hot dogs.
Treasure map pointed out place 500 miles away from the sea.
Hap Shaughnessy was a rubber farmer in his 20s. 240 rubber trees.
Farm was attached to a tire factory. Didn't work out.
People in the Yukon feel like there are too many stereotypes about them.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Snowshoeing
Bill is struggling to get going. Cannot turn around very well.
To turn around, grab a tree branch and swing. Or, pivot on a walking stick.
Now making their own snowshoes from tires. Ends with Bill rolling down hill at blinding speed.
Red talks about guns. They don't really go hunting. They talk about guns but don't use them.
Rollerderby is a daily event to Harold, I guess.
The answer to most philosophical questions: Aliens. Duh.
Oh no, Red is a Superman fan. Harold counters with Batman and is right. Neither has a "Hover" ability, though.
Dougy Franklin and his monster truck, Meals on 4 Wheels.
Apparently there are Monster trucks coming to an event from Pakistan. The best of the best, I'm sure.
They dug for the treasure, got mad they couldn't find anything, just started hitting trees and stuff.
Episode #3: The UFO
Welcome back after a nearly 5 month hiatus.
"A jerk of all trades"
Campfire song, they forget the lyrics. But, they're drinking with the boys.
Handyman Corner: Refinishing furniture.
Taking paint off of a chair with a kitchen knife.
Attach blow dryers (6) to a broken off hockey stick with duct tape.
It didn't work, surprisingly.
Harold and Red having a real talk about vegetarians.
Government keeping aliens a secret, no shit.
Scottish mailman who lives in a landed boat makes his debut, I think.
You should fish for sunken snowmobiles in the lake.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Building A Fire
Bill has lots of wood in his coveralls.
Also placing charcoal on it.
Jumper cables are being used to start this fire. Doesn't work, extremely fake dummy flies through air weeeeeeeeee
Harold talks about war: Sings the song, dances like a white Canadien.
"War sucks scissors".
Teenagers: Your glands are screwing you up.
Camping in the winter, you don't need to use pegs, tent just freezes upright.
Oh no, the guy living in a cave in the ground. HORRIBLE CHARACTER!
The UFO turns out to be just a drunk escapade creation.
"A jerk of all trades"
Campfire song, they forget the lyrics. But, they're drinking with the boys.
Handyman Corner: Refinishing furniture.
Taking paint off of a chair with a kitchen knife.
Attach blow dryers (6) to a broken off hockey stick with duct tape.
It didn't work, surprisingly.
Harold and Red having a real talk about vegetarians.
Government keeping aliens a secret, no shit.
Scottish mailman who lives in a landed boat makes his debut, I think.
You should fish for sunken snowmobiles in the lake.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Building A Fire
Bill has lots of wood in his coveralls.
Also placing charcoal on it.
Jumper cables are being used to start this fire. Doesn't work, extremely fake dummy flies through air weeeeeeeeee
Harold talks about war: Sings the song, dances like a white Canadien.
"War sucks scissors".
Teenagers: Your glands are screwing you up.
Camping in the winter, you don't need to use pegs, tent just freezes upright.
Oh no, the guy living in a cave in the ground. HORRIBLE CHARACTER!
The UFO turns out to be just a drunk escapade creation.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Episode #2: The Elvis Sighting
Again, read from the bottom up.
Red and the random kid didn't get the plance to fly. Surprising. End of episode #2
Moose Thompson started acting like Elvis. Pissed everyone off. That is the entire story.
Debut of Dougie Franklin. Meals on Wheels in a small monster truck.
Harold talks 1st date: Don't insult people who play lotteries, don't slam doors, don't cry when you can't pay bill.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: Tabogganing. Slides down hill in giant box, trash can, obvious dummy at the end.
"Red Groin Far Club"
Harold wants them to talk about rap, Guns N Roses, and Paula Abdul. What a jackass.
Ghost of Elvis is in the deli of their supermarket.
Ends up hitting the drill with a sledgehammer. May have been an overreaction.
Handyman Corner: Showing what an electric drill can do. Trying to saw with it. Terrible results.
He also has one hell of an early 90s sweater on.
NOW the kid has a Blue Jays hat
"Don't lick a toad, don't lick it." Campfire song. Say no to toads.
Red is too monotone in these early episodes. #RedGreenReview
Episode #1: The Big Inboard
Read from the Bottom up.
I could not follow any of the supposed main story.
"Doesn't matter if you believe it or not, you weren't there."
Oil Rigs can carry up 8.5 trillion tons according to Hap Shaughnessy.
Tries to teach the kid how to play croquet, ends up making him mow the lawn. That's about right.
Kid from 1991 is wearing a Yankees hat. This is Canada kid, where the fuck is your Blue Jays cap?
Harold talks about sex ed. He knows all you adults are having sex. He knows.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: portaging a canoe. Canoe gets flooded. Bill Splash count: 2. Hit himself in the nuts twice.
"Beaver is easier to learn than German"
Ranger Gord does not change in appearance throughout the series. He misses Welcome Back Kotter
In Red's monologes, there are gunshots in the background every 6 seconds or so.
The Winter of Our Discount Tent. Should have kept this segment for later years.
Handyman Corner involves sanding a door. First incredibly bad looking stunt. Oh the early years...
Skinny Dipping song by the campfire.
You looked so young in 1991, Steve Smith
I could not follow any of the supposed main story.
"Doesn't matter if you believe it or not, you weren't there."
Oil Rigs can carry up 8.5 trillion tons according to Hap Shaughnessy.
Tries to teach the kid how to play croquet, ends up making him mow the lawn. That's about right.
Kid from 1991 is wearing a Yankees hat. This is Canada kid, where the fuck is your Blue Jays cap?
Harold talks about sex ed. He knows all you adults are having sex. He knows.
ADVENTURES WITH BILL: portaging a canoe. Canoe gets flooded. Bill Splash count: 2. Hit himself in the nuts twice.
"Beaver is easier to learn than German"
Ranger Gord does not change in appearance throughout the series. He misses Welcome Back Kotter
In Red's monologes, there are gunshots in the background every 6 seconds or so.
The Winter of Our Discount Tent. Should have kept this segment for later years.
Handyman Corner involves sanding a door. First incredibly bad looking stunt. Oh the early years...
Skinny Dipping song by the campfire.
You looked so young in 1991, Steve Smith
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